These Boots Are Made for Walking….and that’s just what they’ll do…one of these days these boots are going to walk all over blue.
While strolling through life in my cowgirl boots this past month, many people have considerately asked me about my head and how my recovery from the concussion is going (which I had written about in the recent blog of Trading Ski Boots for Cowgirl Boots). I have been touched by everyone’s concern and wish I could say that I’m fully recovered, just as a toddler will say “all better”, and run back into play after receiving a hug and a kiss. I wish I could do the same. “Not yet, but I’m working on it”, has been my answer.
There are many who struggle with significantly worse injuries and illnesses than mine and my heart goes out to them. It helps me, however, to gain perspective when I see the how others are handling their struggles. It also encourages me to look for the lessons in this experience of healing from a head injury. I notice how my thinking flows up and down, which causes my emotions and energy to do the same.
I have level one thoughts of fear and anxiety. What if I don’t fully recover? What if I never feel completely better? These thoughts swirl on the outskirts of my consciousness like birds circling above my head. I don’t let them land for long; shooing them away because their presence makes me sink into a blue despair.
Instead I move to level two and struggle with thoughts of frustration and impatience; I can’t believe I’m still not 100%. When am I ever going to be over this?! I experience inner conflict when my head and heart want to pursue normal activities and my body is not cooperating. Headaches and fatigue demand that I stop what I want to do, and instead do what I must do to manage my recovery.
Wanting relief from the struggle I seek level three by asking myself what I can do to take responsibility in this situation. Each day I find that I must balance my commitments to others with my commitment to my own self care. Taking more frequent breaks, even for a short time, makes a difference to my overall well being throughout the day. I walk away from the computer so I can rest my eyes by either closing them or by gazing out the window to take in the beauty I see outdoors. Recognizing that my head is heavy, I find a comfortable position to rest it and take the pressure of its 5-6 pounds off of my neck for awhile. These small gifts that I give to myself throughout the day may seem simple, yet they are exactly what I need to do in order to continue caring for my healing head. I feel empowered in a situation that is beyond my control when I take steps to be responsible for my own care. As long as I remember to take compassionate care of myself, I effectively leave my despair and frustration behind.
Heart healings are featured in my upcoming book, Lost and Found…One woman’s story of finding and keeping faith. I find it interesting that I now have the opportunity to learn about head healing. What I have discovered is that healing takes time. It can be slow and requires a great deal of patience. The pace is easier to endure, however, when I look at it as an opportunity to grow, and these thoughts then shift me to a level five energy. With curiosity I ask myself, what can I learn from this today? I often forget to ask this powerful question. When I don’t, I’m much more likely to remain in level two struggling energy, or grab a hold of a level one thought of fear that swirls above me. But when I apply conscious effort to focus on the opportunities that lie within my difficulties, I raise my spirit, enthusiasm, and overall energy. And that lift, in itself, is worth the effort.
My cowgirl boots which I bought during a level 5 retail therapy outing when I could no longer wear my skiing boots after my concussion are a good reminder to walk all over the level one energy of feeling blue.
