What helps you get through the daily challenges of life?
Where do you find the inner strength to manage the hurdles that occur?
The wisdom that people share when I speak on this topic never ceases to inspire me. Together we explore and discover ways to navigate both the large and small adversities that quite naturally come with living.
At the recent ‘Be Strong’ Wholistic Woman Retreat, I was reminded once again of the collective wisdom that can be found in a group of individuals. The Retreat was the soft launch of the first book I authored; Lost and Found: Discovering Strength in Love and Faith. That day, fifty women enjoyed the beautiful surroundings of rustic yet comfortable ThorpeWood in the Catoctin Mountains. The wooden floor and high beamed ceilings of the lodge were made contiguous by tall windows that allowed the light to stream in as well as affording us a view of the surrounding woodlands. It felt as if the trees encircling the lodge were holding this special place and day, in a supportive embrace as the women there relaxed, talked, laughed, and sometimes cried together.
The questions we pondered were how to find inner strength through love and our beliefs. Great discussions occurred in which we identified what we put our faith in and how we learn to accept and love ourselves better.
In the book I tell my story of searching for love outside of myself for many years as I looked to others to fill the longings in my heart. After a surprisingly insightful trip to Europe in 2010, I learned that the most important relationship of all is with my Self. I don’t mean this in a self-centered or narcissistic way, but rather in a self- caring way. To embrace this concept fully I needed to overcome the false belief that caring for me is selfish. I replaced it with a belief that it’s my responsibility to accept, care for, and love who I am. The more I am able to accept all of myself, both my strengths and imperfections, the more I am able to accept others completely for who they are. This perspective helps me acknowledge that we are all on a lifelong journey towards actualizing our full potential.
What keeps us from accepting and loving who we are? In a world that often tells us to be more and do more it can be difficult to relax and trust that we are enough just the way we are. Understanding how to love and care for ourselves is a journey towards wholeness that is personal and moves at an individual pace.
Love becomes a source of strength when we cultivate habits of self-care. There are many opportunities for us to take care of our bodies, hearts, minds, and spirits….and only you know which ones are right for you. In some ways life is like an experiment and as we try out new self-care habits, we must observe the impact they have on us and decide if we want to make any adjustments based on what we observe.
The most important habit I have found and adopted is to ask myself frequently what do I need?
My ability to answer that question at any given moment is determined by how self-aware I am. Am I tuned into my physical being and aware of my need for nourishment, movement, touch, or rest? Am I aware of my mental state and whether I need to increase or reduce my thought processes?
Am I aware of the needs of my heart for loving connections with others; or of my spirit’s need to connect with something bigger than me….the source of creation and unconditional love?
As a self-aware person I recognize all of my emotions; both positive and negative. I stop avoiding the uncomfortable or challenging feelings and participate in the dance that I do between doubt and fear and trust and faith.
When you feel uncomfortable, in which direction do you turn? Do you allow self- critical thoughts and emotions to run rampant and take you down a fretful path? Or do you choose to rely on your belief in something bigger than yourself; perhaps energy that while unseen is still very real to you and a potential source of love and compassion?
Discovering and developing your inner strength through love and faith is a lifelong journey. As a professional coach and author I offer my own story as a springboard for others to explore their stories. Reflection questions are designed to guide the reader to further develop their own inner strength.
I like to think of our lives as a breathing jigsaw puzzle and the pieces are being formed by our individual experiences and choices. On any given day the elements of humor, loving relationships with others, purposeful self- care and a personal connection with the Higher Being of our understanding, develops the beautiful picture that is our lives. Choose wisely today.
Carol deLaski, PCC, is an author, speaker, and coach. You are warmly invited to celebrate the launch of Lost and Found this weekend at two, free local events in Frederick on April 4th from 6-8:30 pm or April 5th from 4-7 pm and to celebrate what you have found. There is strength in being on the journey together. Click here for details.
