In January many of us turn attention towards what we resolve to start doing to be healthier, happier, and more balanced in our life and work. This year, as you consider the new beginnings that 2012 offers I’d like to ask what will you end. Many of us cringe at the idea of endings. We resist the changes that endings bring, often fearing the disappointment and sense of loss that can be associated with them. Yet endings are necessary if we want to start new activities or even new behaviors. We have a limited amount of time each day so choosing a new activity often means we have to let go of another. Saying “yes” to something new often means saying “no” to something else. There are two sides to the coin of change. One side is what we will start and the other side is what we will stop.
So as you consider where you want to be in six months or a year, and how you will get there, consider what you need to let go. We know that we’ll be different one year from now. None of us gets to stay the same. We get a choice in how we will have changed, though, whether it’s for the better or not.
Instead of resisting endings, what would it be like to normalize and embrace them? What would it feel like to be proactive and intentional about ending certain activities, thoughts, or behaviors that aren’t producing what we want in our lives?
Nature provides many examples of endings. We witness the life cycle of trees and plants as seasons change and realize our life cycle has seasons as well. Pruning is an activity that creates proactive endings. In the book, Necessary Endings, Dr. Henry Cloud shares three examples of pruning that can also be applied to business and life changes.
One is the pruning of healthy buds and branches. A healthy plant will often produce more buds than it can bring to full bloom. In order for the bush to thrive, and produce outstanding blossoms, some of the healthy buds must be cut. Choices have to be made between what is good and what is best. When the good buds are let go, it frees those resources to go to the best buds allowing them to achieve magnificence.
A second way that gardeners prune is to remove sick branches. When all efforts to heal and revive a sick part of the plant don’t restore it to health, there comes a time to accept that recovery is not occurring. When we remove the sick branches we allow more fuel to pour into the healthy buds.
The third way gardeners prune is to remove branches that are dead and taking up space. Removing them allows healthy branches unobstructed room to grow to their full potential.
Pruning a rose bush is certainly less painful than pruning your business or life! Too often we avoid pruning activities, behaviors, thought patterns, or relationships in our lives because it evokes fear, pain and conflict. Yet in order to succeed, we must prune. So as you consider what you will begin this year to bring your life to full blossom, also consider what you will prune. Trust that you will know what, and when, to prune certain thoughts and behavior patterns from your life to make room for those that will bring your life where you want it to be one year from today.
Consider joining my winter coaching group on the book Necessary Endings to receive support and create the change that you want in your life. My winter program will discuss the insights presented by Dr. Henry Cloud and actively apply them to situations in our own lives that require “letting go”. Groups will meet each month for a 90-minute coaching session followed a week later by a 60-minute conference call. For those who desire the added advantage of one-on-one coaching, you and I will schedule a separate 50-minute session. You should plan on a three-month commitment to CCG+ but are welcome to continue as long as you feel the benefits in your life. Call me directly for more information.
Author: Carol Hayes, [email protected] or 301-371-7460
Through her company, Clear Choices Coaching, Carol shares her expertise and skill fostering growth in people of all ages. She is especially energized when her coaching helps people experience “breakthrough” moments where they push through their personal edge and grow more fully into the people they want to be. Carol’s certification as a Life and Energy Leadership coach comes from The Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (IPEC), which is accredited by the International Coaching Federation. She is also a dynamic speaker and workshop leader who facilitates energizing connections with groups of all sizes.
