I leave next Monday for two weeks in Israel. I have been planning this trip for almost a year and it seems somewhat surreal that it is finally here. I practice being both an observer and a participant in my life so amidst the busyness of finishing work and packing for the trip, I notice how I am feeling. It is a mixture of anticipation, hope, excitement, and to be honest, a bit of fear.
I ask myself what I am afraid of and find the answer lies in the unknown. I realize that when I travel I choose to open myself to new experiences and intentionally invite the unknown into my life. I prepare as best I can, studying maps, talking to those who have been there, and reading about my destination, but I can only absorb so much. I can’t fully prepare for the experience because there is always an element that is new and unexpected, and that is both unnerving and part of the thrill of traveling.
Most of my fear is actually awe. I know that when I seek God, I find Him. That is proven to me on a daily basis as I look for ‘God moments’; those experiences of grace and connection which assure me of a Divine presence guiding my life. Traveling to the Holy Land, and visiting ancient religious sites, I anticipate that I will know and experience God even more fully. After all, this is my ‘Big Seek’, something I have waited a lifetime to do. I anticipate that awe and wonder will be my traveling companions on this pilgrimage trip. I look forward to knowing God better, growing my knowledge and personal faith.
A more troubling aspect of my fear has to do with the unknown and the uncontrollable. As I get caught up in “what if” thinking I realize that I am fretting over things which I have no control over. Worries ranging from logistical ‘what if my luggage gets lost’ to political ‘what if the trouble in Syria affects us’ leave me anxious and off balance.
I have decided that fear is unavoidable; there is so much we cannot control. In the book, ‘What Women Fear – Walking in Faith that Transforms’, author Angie Smith describes living with fear as a balancing act. Letting go of the expectation of finding a solution to end fear, as well as the hope that we will never tremble again, we embrace the ebb and flow of that balancing act. She asks us to consider what we depend on when our balance begins to tip. Are there patterns in our thinking that throw us off balance and what is the kind of thinking that steadies us? Moving towards greater balance requires concentration, effort, and awareness on our part.
Becoming more aware of our fears can be fearful itself. Like me, if you think, “I’m afraid to know my fears better” be reassured that you are not alone. You can have companions on your journey to learning what restores balance when fear sends you tipping sideways. Together we will emerge as women who not only acknowledge fear but face it with inner resolve and resources. Balancing what we can do with trusting a Divine presence in the midst of fear steadies us and reduces those fears to a more manageable size.
I warmly invite you to explore this topic further with me in two ways.
My next Clarity Coaching Group will be reading and applying principles from Smith’s book “What Women Fear – Walking in Faith that Transforms” starting Thursday, April 12th from 7-8:30 pm. Join us for this 3 month series (meeting bi-monthly) to learn skills to balance your fears by leaning on an inner Divine connection. Click here for more details on this workshop or email [email protected].
And/or stay connected to me on my journey through Israel via my notes on Facebook to see what joys and insights this adventure will bring. Click Here To Follow My Journey.
